Ralph was pretty sure shoelaces were part of a vast evil conspiracy on the part of his mother. She insisted one had to wear “respectable” shoes whenever leaving the house. Every time he touched the cursed laces it seemed they were already a tangled mess. Not to mention the trouble when he finally got around to trying to tie them. That nonsense about a squirrel and a tree? How in the world was that helpful? Ralph was pretty sure monsters weren’t even supposed to wear shoes. Someday he was going to move out and burn all his shoes.

2010